We moved to the country to build a better life. It took 20 years to realise this dream. We had all these aspirations and visions. Living in a tight knit community that takes care of each other, appreciating and caring for nature, being self-sufficient. We were so excited to be part of the solution, forging a new experience for mankind. Man, were we in for a surprise…
Alas, three months in, we’re further away from that vision than we’ve ever been. We could never have predicted that we would move to an area filled with the most toxic narcissists you can imagine; bullies that defy belief. The “veterens” in the area who think they own the entire area, launch the most vicious attacks against anyone who questions their “rule”. They sneer at the newbies and only embrace the ones that conform to their view of the world.
Bullied incessantly for three years as a rising star in my industry was no picnic. Those men could simply not fathom a woman doing well in “their” domain, and made my life a living hell from all across the globe! Fast forward a decade and here we go again. Only 3 months in the area and surrounded by ego maniacs who seek only to control and dominate who have no tolerance for a different opinion, outlook on life, or the Sacred Feminine.
Yet, to add insult into injury – I found myself being one of those people last night! Pulled right back into the classic narcissist trap that I worked so hard to free myself from; instantly made part of the problem! I feel sick to my stomach. Last night was an argument about people wanting to shoot all the jackal in the area – which I have a major issue with. I spoke up and paid dearly. Messages of “go hug a tree, grow up, do you need airtime to make a call”. Kind words this round. One of the other residents called me and crapped on my head for the message I sent.
(My message was : “You’ve already been fined for illegally keeping animals, now you want to shoot the free roaming wildlife too. Mmm.”).
Yet I am self aware enough to admit when I am wrong. Did I have to send the message I did? Did it change anything? Is it going to stop them? Did it add any value? No.
Certainly easy to judge when you don’t live right next door to the one bully. Shooting everything that moves from the back of the bakkie, bullets flying over neighbouring farms. Animals screaming in agony when they’re slaughtered there. They don’t get to hear the endless loud music like it has been the past two nights again, forcing us to go inside and put the TV on loud to try drown the music out. He ignores the toxic messages the man sends then makes all friendly calls trying to be helpful.
The 3 main bullies in the area get to say and do whatever they want with no recourse and everyone else must just “keep the peace”. Anyone who questions this is made to be the bad guy. Any of this sounding familiar? Then the main culprit who is the source of so much strife and division in the area, laments that there’s no sense of community. Oh the irony.
I’m just sad today. I’m sad for me, I’m sad for us, I’m sad for the area, I’m sad for mankind. I wanted to pack up and sell the place last night. Our dear little farm that we have worked so hard to develop, just feels so hollow and pointless right now. I feel empty and numb. Community doesn’t exist. It’s every man for himself, and that’s why the globalists are getting away with what they are.
We honestly believed that people who lived in pristine nature areas like ours, did so because of their affinity with nature and the earth. We believed they were the type of people wanting to build a better future. How very very wrong we were.
How very sad for the human family.
I am ever thankful for the few wonderful friends we have made here, they are truly a light in a very dark place. Thank you God.